Dear Rob, I hate to bother you when you have so much going on at the moment but I felt that I needed to share this information with you.
While out drinking with the girls last week after 4 or 5 wines I came across something that literally blew me away. Now, as a happily married women this info has somehow been hidden from me for nearly 20years only to surface last week.
It appears to be well know throughout the world that in all relationships there is a ‘get out of jail free card’ that can be used once and only once for partners who are tempted by lust.
There are conditions of course:
- This person needs to be ‘unobtainable’ in the real world and it is only through acts of karma that you happen to run into them.
- This card can not be used on any everyday hunk or slapper that you pick up down the local bar
- The card is valid for 1 f*ck only or 1 night with continuous f*cking, either way when the sun comes up your out of there.
- When utilizing this card you must advise the ‘Unobtainable Human’ of what is going down, so they know how special they are to you and also it will explain to them why you cleared off so quickly the next day.
- You cannot in any way shape or form make comparisons after the event has taken place to your partner, only if they are in favour of you current partner
- The card can be renewed after every 5 years and f*cks can be accumulated, like frequent flyer points
So, there are a couple of questions I have, one is according to my calculations I have around 5 nights of long hard sex with my choice of any ‘unobtainable human’. I would like to allocate one, just one of my nights to you. As I live in Australia the ‘karma’ thing will really need to kick in because I cant see you coming down anytime soon.By the way just letting you know no threesomes, I know how much you love your buddies but no one is crashing my ‘Get out of Jail free card’ and that means NO ONE, got it. I know you love us Aussies and I do have a ‘Raucous’ accent like Emile D Ravin so I can whisper sweet Aussie nothings into your ear all night.
Well I don’t know about you but I am quiet excited about this potential union and the more I think about it the more realistic it becomes. The only simple request I have is that you wear your beanie during sex, sorry it is a little kinky fetish of mine but I think that I may have to explain that in another letter.
Always Yours,
DreamingisFree
DreamingisFree
THIS IS FROM LETTERS TO ROB, AND WROTE FROM OUR FRIEND DREAMINGISFREE, SHE USED TO HAVE A BLOG WITH BEAUTIFUL AND HOT STORIES ABOUT ROB.
6 comments:
AHHHHHH you are so sweet, well I have to say I am very flattered and this is a true story, but the sad thing is that the girls I was drinking with did not find rob good looking. I even took out the pocket perve and no reaction, and we were pretty pissed too......but he has my 5 nights if he wants them, although I am starting to think about if I want him or not "IF" he has been tapping KSpew....that girl gives me all sorts of visuals ...... ewwwwwww
sorry I have a few alias names floating around but you girlies know me as jojo, temptation, jo, dreamingisfree, pisshead, skank. sex shoes, soft skin, melbourne tart, whore, BB (only reserved for one) PWPlover, and so so so so may more.....
Oh man I can just imagine you pissed cranking out the RP pocket porn and coping the WTF look followed by crickets..... LMAO! Don’t get me wrong the RP pocket porn is awesome but to non Rob lovers?! Hmm convo killer....lol it’s a tough one for me having only accrued one night! Yep the man is number 1 on my list XD In another 5 years who knows! ;)
Love the alias! BTW You forgot simple Jo-A you nut! Pisshead yep, sex shoes definitely, Melbourne tart pfffttt and soft skin baaahahahaha. I have gathered a few aliases in my time too tee hee.
Like I said skank LTR is a perfect medium for you! The only thing is you have to be either be pissed (drunk) or pissed off to feel the need to write. Maybe you should read the Elle interview for a little inspiration. Not to worry! With Eclipse promo almost here there will be lots of inspiration coming. As well as good excuses to drink lots of alcohol.
Nice work BB! *mwah* xoxo M, ladsdm, DHR & Ginger
Ginger I agree with you JoJo has to be pissed to be inspired, I told her many times, and she knows I can help with that...CW too.
Please JoJo share with the world your beanie story...they would love it, like with did... love you girls!!
softest skin ever! LOL
Haha Tempt, my pocket Patty Perv got a better reaction from the matronly types who were in the cinema to see Little Ashes a couple of months ago! There are other brilliant letters in your archives that should be shared as well.
I said I wouldn't read the article from Elle it really is a waste of brain cells that I cant afford to loose. You girls are so generous and as for the anger factor well you may be in luck, I have a teenage son who is really and I mean really pushing me to the edge and I am expected tonight is going to be one of the "i need to vent nights" what better way to vent than to talk to may old pal Rob, who always listens and doesnt judge me.........baahahhaaa
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